So.. last night towards the end of one of the shows we had Tivo'd that we always watch together, Josh's phone rings buzzes. I pause the show, and wait. "I'll be on in a minute," he says as he hangs up. I unpause the show (there were only a few minutes left in it). He gets up and leaves the room, going to the office where he remained the rest of the night. I knew that this was what the call was, but I was upset anyway. He couldn't even wait out the remaining five minutes of the show? And what of the other two shows we taped Monday that we haven't watched yet.
I put on Big Brother (which has really sucked this season, btw) and watch it alone.
If this happened now and then, it really wouldn't bother me. But the fact is, it happens all the time. Like, today. He tells me we need to leave work by 3:30, even sent me a meeting reminder so I would know to start getting finished up around 3:00. But, he decides he wants to leave early, so we do somewhere around 2:45. So he can be home in time to WoW. I'm ok with leaving early, because I can do pretty much all my work from home it makes no difference. But then, as I'm sitting here in the office working he asks, "Are you downloading something?" His connection must be slow. And yes, I'm uploading something. For work. This is my job.
I get so frustrated that WoW is his priority, that it's what he schedules everything around. And it doesn't care what I want, or what we are doing. They call, and he is right there. And anything I wanted to do, or was doing goes out the window. He agrees to go do something with me and then backs out because he is playing, or because he stayed up all night playing and is now either still asleep or just too tired. He has no problem talking to and playing with these people, these strangers, for hours and hours, and yet won't come with me to meet new people who could actually become our real life friends.
And then, he'll complain. About how he doesn't even want to play anymore sometimes, how the people he plays with are frustrating or annoying. But, who wins out when it comes down to me vs them? They do. Every time. I've spent so much time dating men who don't make me a priority, and I've spent so much time trying to get myself out of that bad habit. And here I am, with my best friend, and it's the same old story. The sad thing is, in a new effort to communicate better, I tried to talk to him about it. But nothing changes. And I don't know what to do about it anymore, except just pretend I don't care.