So.. I wouldn’t say that G broke my heart, although maybe with more time he could have. But, he did crack me, and allowed my heart to be broken later, by two different men. I met G online, through my website message board. We talked, decided to meet, and I chickened out. I was 19 at the time and didn’t think it was a good idea.
Two years later we started talking again, I don’t remember why or how. We decided to meet again, and this time I went through with it. We met at Downtown Plaza and walked the mall, around downtown, talking. It was relaxing; I was able to just talk and open and not worry like I usually do. We got along pretty well, I thought. Our “date” lasted so long (we decided to see a movie after walking) that I had several phone calls and text messages from my sisters and brother-in-law, checking up on me.
Our second date was New Year’s Eve. That was interesting to say the least. It was a “party” (more of a get-together) at Ruth’s house, and it was just Ruth & her family, Miriam and another couple. The most memorable moment of the night was, “Do you know what we’ve been talking about this entire night???” when Laura asked G if he knew that he was surrounded by Mormons (he did). We still laugh about that.
G and I went out a few more times, the last one being my work holiday party (which they always do in Jan or Feb because they are cheap). It was a good date, or as good as it could be considering how horrible my work parties are.
I don’t know what went wrong; I don’t know if he got scared, if I was coming on too strong. But it ended then. He slipped away, pretty much without a word. I pursued, confused. I had never let someone in like this, and then as quick as it started, it was over. I went to his work (a school 45 minutes away), but didn’t see him (the receptionist couldn’t tell me anything about his schedule, which room he was in, even if he was there that day). I left a note I guess he never got. When we finally spoke, his reasons for breaking up with me were because I wasn’t a teacher, and he wanted to date another teacher so they could have things to talk about after work.
I cried, I got over it. But, he cracked my heart open, he let me feel and he let me learn to let people in. And three short months later, J took up residence in my heart, where he’ll always stay.