So.. Josh and I have been living together for almost two months now. We knew each other for quite a while before, he has seen me at my worst, I figured it wouldn’t be too bad. And, it’s not. Living with him is nice in a lot of ways, like at today at 3:30 am when I started freaking out (over nothing) and then took a deep breath and realized Josh would hear me if I screamed and I felt better, even though all that means is the Bad Guy would have to kill two people instead of just one.
We have come to learn a lot of things about us are different, things I hadn’t really thought about or realized before. I would never call myself a “neat freak,” I just don’t like clutter. Josh is the opposite. Josh could leave dishes in the sink for days, if not longer. I am constantly emptying the sink, washing dishes and putthing them away. I don’t like the groceries left out; I pick up Chloe’s toys and make her bed; I recently made Josh move all the furniture in the office because I was tired of the mess and wanted to organize.
On the way to work earlier this week, we discussed our differences here, why we are the way we are. I didn’t realize it, but he said me cleaning all the time made him feel like I had something to hang over his head. I had no idea that’s how it was being translated. I clean because I want to, because it makes me more comfortable. (It was funny when Josh and I watched a show on people who horde items, I immediately was up and doing dishes, without realizing it. I don’t like messes, even on tv.) I would never hold it over his head, if I didn’t want to pick up his things, I wouldn’t and eventually he would do it himself.
After this discussion I decided to relax on the cleaning. We went shopping for groceries yesterday, I put the cold stuff away and left out the rest. There were dishes in the sink for a day or so, and I left them there. We were sitting on the couch, watching the night’s episode of Big Brother, when the subject came up. I was telling him that see, I can change. And he was telling me that he thought I was leaving it for him to do. *sigh*
I told him that wasn’t the case. I didn’t want to seem like a freak and jump up and clean right then, but I wanted to. But, I will do it tonight.